Dreadful cracker jokes and the holiday wind down

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We have been to our usual assembly of Christmas parties for this that or the other club of which we are members. I don’t know what possesses me to even read the jokes but just to remind you of some of them
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what do you call a row of men waiting for a haircut?
A barbercue
Why did the tomato blush?
Because it saw the salad dressing
how do you keep  cool at a football match?
You stand next to a fan
the longer it goes the shorter it grows.  what is it?
A candle
how does a snake smell?
by sticking out its tongue
why did Scrooge buy everyone a budgie for Christmas
because they were going cheap
before Mount Everest was discovered which was the highest mountain in the world?
Mount Everest,  as it was the highest mountain before it was discovered.
so there we are, you’ve had your fix of groans.
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To my delight, perhaps selfish delight, I have only two fixtures in my calendar before Christmas Day. One of them is the coffee morning tomorrow morning at our local church and the other one is a new friend who is visiting us for coffee on Wednesday.
I shall take this opportunity to hibernate and just do the minimum amount of work that I need to do.  Christmas will not be that exciting for me because due to the problems of my stomach, I have to do a thorough clearance and detox and live on a diet of rice for the next few days. I can then maybe have one or two items  whose PH value is alkaline.  I hope I will be able to have a couple of slices of chicken on Christmas Day  but certainly no alcohol. This will be my first alcohol-free Christmas for many years now, but it’s either that or suffering acidosis which is a horrible thing to do at all let alone on a holiday

I like this time of year because no one expect anything of you particularly between Christmas and the new year. We have the delight of a real log fire.   I may choose  to do some work in the garden because the dead branches and growth needs taking back to the ground (well almost).

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