In which I discuss a simple device for overcoming the stress of dealing with a difficult person, and then move on to preparing for a meeting, some do’s and dont’s.

Pepys Diary for Tuesday 22 November 1664

The quotation below really jumped out at me and it relates to my previous conversation about recovering from arguments. I introduce the concept of ‘God’ here to represent a higher power. This is part of my recommended software for those who want to live unfettered by feelings of hate to others.

To live in “perfect love” is to seek God’s will in every situation, and to desire the best for every individual. It is not a physical attraction, nor a mere friendly feeling. It is unending goodwill, even to the most unlovable.

As Edwin Markham wrote:

“He drew a circle that shut me out.
Heretic rebel, a thing to flout.
But Love and I had the wit to win:
We drew a circle that took him in!”

There is a certain impersonal quality about ‘good will’. It is a generic thing, a state of mind that rises above the everyday nonsense that goes on. It enables us to retain our dignity and may I say our sanity. ‘Be in the world but not of it’ as someone said.  The only escape or remedy is up. Love is not an emotion it is a stance where attitudes are not controlled by the reaction of the other parties.

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I am prepared as much as I will ever be for an important meeting that will be taking place tomorrow. I think there’s only so much one can do and in the end it will depend upon the chemistry of myself and the other people. I hope they are as committed as I am to what I have to say. I don’t want to put my new ideas in writing because I find it is back luck to discuss something before it is in operation. It is probably a good idea to summarize beforehand what you hope to achieve and why you called the meeting in the first place.

I have always had the habit of speaking too fast on such occasions and not listening to what the other people have to say and if nothing else I will try to overcome this habit. We have to go at the rate of other people’s thinking and if they are preoccupied with something else or have had many things on their mind then we have to slow down accordingly. It is probably less threatening with a new idea to ask people’s advice and become aware of what input they are willing to give even though it may not lead to the result that you had wished. There is always a reason for their point of view so I suppose a small step is better than no step at all.

At least it may lead to something else.

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