Let’s Hear It for free flowing conversation!

by | Nov 19, 2023 | Latest Post | 0 comments

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Today in the Vineyard Church, We had what we call ‘Super Sunday’ which is a funny name for informal meeting and talking, with entertainment for the children but for adults to meet in small groups as they wish and converse not only about matters of faith but about how they have been getting on.

We do have complete strangers coming along with their children and for them I suppose you could call it a play session with adults in attendance. It is very relaxed, you can get tea and coffee behind the bar, and there is a large bouncy castle in the main body of the church for children to avail themselves of.

I saw the person who had not responded to my messages about the Wells Carnival and discussed it with someone else who had had a similar experience with this person. He thought it was because the person in question had been a teacher, but I did not buy this one. People must really make an attempt to show some reaction of interest or otherwise. If someone else takes the trouble to get them information about an experience, they should respond otherwise as I said in my previous diary entry there is no incentive to play tennis with yourself.

The upshot was that I made no approaches and told myself that I did not know what their history was, if they have tried to trust someone and was let down, I suppose until you get to know them well enough you will not find out these things. In general, I am an extrovert person that loves to engage with people and I do expect something in return (on a good day).

How are you (ask twice)

I feel that to ask a person how they are, when they are under stress or doing something else is a complete waste of time because you are actually asking something intimate. I did this of the person who was serving coffee and I just got the standard grin and ‘I’m fine thank you’. I think we have to pick our moments when talking with people and hoping for a cogent response.

I went and joined group of two people at one of the tables in the church hall on a *whim. this means that I had no particular reason for doing this but what followed was really blessed. Whether we decided in advance that a situation will be promising or boring, is largely a left brain controlled event and has nothing to do with the intuition but in this case I over wrote my left brain and decided to sit down anyway.

Whim – From the 1640’s a “play on words, pun,” shortened from whimwham “fanciful object” (q.v.). Meaning “caprice, fancy, sudden turn or inclination of the mind” first recorded 1690s, probably a shortened form of whimsy.

I spoke to someone who had been completely ostracized by her family, her sisters in particular , when she had declared herself to be a Christian. This was very difficult because they did not want her even at the funeral of her own mother. this is how deep our prejudices are capable of going. The person who said this said that they were deeply hurt. When her mother was lying in rest after death the sisters even said that she should not be admitted to the funeral home to sit with the deceased. This brings meanness and poisonous hatred to a new level.

I pointed out that anyone who stands up for anything these days is going to be slated and we must not expect kind treatment. We discussed how Jesus was not accepted by everyone but at the same time drew people to him which must have been some type of charisma.

The person said that until they announced their conversion to Christianity they got on perfectly well with their family, but switched off when they heard the news. I wonder what is so threatening about someone with a faith. Does it act as a reminder of people’s bad experiences, perhaps when young, with the institution of the Christian church and I am thinking in particular are being forced to go to church.

Somehow I do not think this is a good enough excuse. All have good and bad within and of course the bad will resist the good and if someone sets a standard of behavior, even though they don’t always adhere to it themselves, they will cause disturbance in those who do not wish to be part of this new regime; perhaps they have skeletons in the cupboard that we could call sins which they do not wish to share.

There is a certain spiritual laziness that is endemic and I believe that unless you see the example of another person you are not motivated to make a change. We would say  ‘Better the Devil You Know’  The trouble is, it is an actual devil.

After about 20 minutes, a male friend joined the group with whom I had spoken meaningfully before, joined the table. He is involved in film work but has this great quality of approachability which I attribute to a genuine interest and love for people combined with a lack of fear. He talked about his 1,500 mile bike ride along the east coast of America and said it’s not about the distance or the speed, it’s the style of travel. He said a number of interesting things which reflected on the nature of the population of the United Kingdom versus the population of the United States and said that, sad to say, he had more friends in the United States than he had in this country, the United Kingdom.

Many friends or few friends?

I have always said that if you stand up for anything, including beliefs, you will lose friends. Looking at the question of the medical intervention that has been with us for the last three years, I reckon that differences between couples have caused many a divorce and certainly a loss of friendship. Say that you are probably going to lose five people but gain one friend in return. Friend is genuine and nutritious to you and of course you to them then I regard that as a good deal

I could say the same, the number of buddies that I have in Midsomer Norton and surrounds could be numbered on the fingers of one hand, and this is after over 10 years of living here. I am looking for people who are traveled, have a cosmopolitan attitude, but also have a faith. These people are rare as hens teeth in the area where I am. Francoise finds the same

I jumped in at this point and said it was probably due to our introvert standoffish nature and also due to our habit of self-depreciation. In other words, advertise yourself and our proud of your lifestyle you want to tell other people with no holds barred. I think us Brits miss out a lot because of this deeply embedded habit of not wishing to bother people or be a nuisance.

I made the comment that you can be as knowledgeable as you like and have much to offer but if you are not approachable then people will not feel comfortable in your presence and that is something that you have to work on, probably consisting of unsolved mental problems which are disturbing you. I have said before that you need to love people, not to have fear, and be enthusiastic about something whatever your current preoccupation is

We spoke about people making themselves vulnerable. People can share their vulnerability about say being abused as a child, or the experience of having a messy divorce. We have to be the type of people with whom a wounded soul can open up. Opening up can be the prelude to a relationship of trust, which can lead to being supported and nurtured, and the vulnerable person being able to in their turn support others.

In other words we should not assume that others are unsympathetic to our predicament.  ‘poor little me’.  Do not think that your situation is unique. That is why it is good to be in a group where people are honest, have faith, and have the courage and the temperament to share the problems along the road with others.

Our bicycling friend said that they were having a cycling event in Ireland in 2024 and no less than 28 people were coming over from the United States to take part. This is indeed an alternative Society if ever I heard about one.

I despair at the complete corruption of all governments, they seem to have sold their soul to globalist interests and we can hope nothing from them so the way to go is self-sufficient community, the dignity of being valued as an individual. I reckon that barter and trading are the way to go and to try and leave money out of the equation if we possibly can.

We talked about the need to eat good food and someone spoke about the value of nettles.  I’m sure if push came to shove we could exist off the land. I said that Francoise and I had grown swedes and beetroot and had benefited from the nutrition and the taste.

I was watching a video yesterday when someone said with regard to the Acapulco hurricane that although all the houses were virtually destroyed, people had a great sense of cooperation and would help each other out in practical ways. He said it the same thing had happened in San Francisco, people would feel very much more helpless.

In a way, any action including joining this small inauspicious group this morning, was an act of faith. Sometimes there is fruit, sometimes there is not, but if you go in with good will and listen to people carefully, you can draw out interesting and relevant situations and actions that will benefit everybody. It is no good going in passively and expecting someone to do a song and dance act for you.

It is a 50/50 thing. I suppose it’s the same for life in general

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