Dear Brian
Hello and thank you for reading my Ponderings. While I love writing them, it is also amazing to see the open rate and the kind comments that come back to me. I am interested by the stats we look at, and the fact that my Ponderings on the 23rd May, titled ‘I love you’, had the greatest open rate and comments coming back. We all need to be loved.
This week I am going to talk about ‘love’ and ‘connection’ as this is the best way to combat Business Loneliness, but love is an emotion few people feel comfortable with in a business environment. Since I was 19, I have wanted to change that. When I joined the business world in 1983, I was shocked by how cold and unfeeling it was. I found my own way to survive it and that was to love people.
Love and Connection are two human emotional needs that we all need, no matter what personality or character we have. In fact, one of your critical brain chemicals is Oxytocin, and this is all about love and connection. When we are low in oxytocin we feel a sense of isolation and lack confidence, when we have high oxytocin we are connected to others which makes us:
- Confident
- Trust more
- Manage change better
- Stretch ourselves
- Use love not fear
- Feel safer
- Share and want the best for everyone.
This week, I want to talk about ‘Business Loneliness’, a subject that I have been committed to for 25 years and a challenge that we all have at some point. I know I have experienced it.
Business Loneliness is a ‘thing’, no matter how much love and support you might have at home, the sense of business loneliness cannot always be solved through a great home life. I am aware that Business Loneliness has an economic impact, impacting growth and profitability, and there are many reasons for this. Our confidence, self-worth, self-belief, all of these can be impacted by the loneliness of being a business leader or business owner. Being lonely in business can also cause us to make errors in judgement, reduces the chance of innovating in the right direction, taking on clients that are not right for us. All of these can cause us to run a business that overwhelms us and that we don’t feel in control of.
Technology has isolated us, I don’t need to go on that rant, we all know that, so what can we do to combat this isolation?
Thomas and I have always created communities for business people to enable them to be among people who are not frightened to be vulnerable and tell their truth. When we belong to Networks, we tend to be purely seeking a transactional relationship, looking for our own win in every conversation. It is one of the reasons I don’t go ‘networking’ as I find it depletes my energy massively.
I am a believer in deep conversations, finding the truth and the needs of others so that they can either just have a sounding board, or I can connect them to a trusted contact that can help them with a challenge. The kindness of listening and being there for someone is also a powerful solution to two other human needs we have; the need to feel significant and the need to contribute to others, and to receive contribution also.
This is not an easy economy, I am not going to get negative here, as I also see huge opportunities. However, I know that life is a lot better when you have someone to talk to that has no other agenda than to be a friend and who tells the truth, shares their past and lifts you when you are feeling a bit lost.
So this week, may I suggest that you focus on ‘love and connection’ and take time to have some deep conversations, without an agenda. Be human as, in this ever-increasing AI world, being human is basically the only differentiator we might all have. After all, AI does not have your heart and your life experiences. You can make such a difference when you reach out with love, it is certainly the best antidote to fear.
With love
