Only the farmers will be glad that it’s raining today for my plans were somewhat disrupted and I and spending the day at home. I want to reflect on the feeling that I’ve had quite frequently that days pass without my having achieved anything and I wonder whether I’m being too hard on myself here or what is going on.
What I hate most
What I really do not enjoy is seeing that the time is 6:00 PM and I say to myself where did the time go. I suppose I had exactly the same amount of time as Leonardo da Vinci, Mother Teresa, Louis Pasteur, Albert Einstein etc. So what is the point I am missing?
One bit of moving forward I did have was not having coffee for breakfast very first thing, starting with a plain glass of water, then weak tea and toast followed by a pear. I did not get the dreaded symptoms of bloating and acidity so that is a small celebration, but that’s about it.
I read about ‘alternative’ milks; that they are not necessarily good and for example a statement that the only function for oats is to help cattle to grow and the doctor who spoke about this recommended that I drink coconut milk, a type of milk that is often underestimated but much better for you.
Another bit of moving forward was writing in response to someone who had a stroke and had lost their use of movement and I sent them a word of encouragement and hoped that any operation would be within their scope because they’re living in Spain and I’m not sure whether they’re insured
Things I ‘did’.
I had breakfast at Wetherspoons this morning, bought some balloons for my party, dealt with some correspondence, received a picture of a commission I had given for a portrait, had one or two conversations on the phone, received a notification from my water company that my bills were going to go up by £10 a month but I can’t say that anything I did was satisfactory.
It’s like I’m running to keep in the same place and I want to have the feeling moving forward. So I’m going to dig into this a little bit and see what comes.
I just remembered that I did something very valuable and calming which was to listen to some Debussy this morning on Radio 3, and also investigated the cost of buying all of Shostakovitch’s symphonies on CD. Maybe I’m making a rod for my own back by thinking that I have to ‘do’ something and perhaps I should follow the example of the animal Kingdom.
Elephants are very good at family activity and at embassy and I reckon in certain ways they’re more advanced than we are but they don’t actually do things all the time sometimes they are there for each other. Where did I get this idea that I have to do something.
When I stargaze I suppose I’m doing nothing but it helps me get things in proportion and calms my mind. The same thing can happen when I stare into a fire especially a bonfire and look at the glowing ashes.
Am I doing something or nothing? I suppose that recharging the battery is not a spectacular operation but it needs to be done.
Maybe I’m doing nothing when my subconscious tells me that I’m too stressed and I therefore need to either go to bed or have a nap.
Words of Wisdom from others
I like the quote by George MacDonald who said that work is not always required. There is such a thing as sacred idleness.
There is also another good quote, I think it’s a Chinese proverb, that tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.
Another one” sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself” – Matsuo Basho
another quote you have to allow a certain amount of time in which you are doing nothing in order to have things occur to you, to let your mind think’ Mortimer Adler
I recall the time during holidays when I go for a walk and just enjoy nature and the matters of my life seem to fall into a perspective that I could not have achieved if I tried, sometimes I have to distance myself from something to see it more clearly.
In a way although I am off duty and I’m on duty because if anyone needs my help I’m there for them and in a way I work everyday because I want to be an available friend and pay full attention to someone who calls with a problem or situation.
Maybe I have given up because a vision for a plan that I was involved in is not coming to fruition and the reason for so-called doing nothing is that I’m waiting for a more auspicious moment to go ahead.
Can the world survive without my efforts?
I may be mistaking doing nothing for the need to balance energies between work and play. I’m particularly aware of my need to go for walks into nature; we’ve done this recently but maybe my feeling is deceptive and I should just have a look at spending time on my own knowing that the sun will come up tomorrow morning irrespective of what I do.
Another reason or perhaps a justification for doing nothing is that if I’ve had a hectic two or three days I need time to recover and regroup so it’s not wasted time it’s time allocated to my own welfare, charging my batteries etcetera.
I have to report that after writing the above I feel a little better and I’ve given myself permission to do nothing. I suppose people in fire stations or lifeboat rescue services do nothing but they are performing services by being available.
Does any reader of this have a viewpoint, anything they would like to add?
