This is a blatant lift from Quora, such a moving story about the effect of our actions on others which I quote in full.
One Last Goodbye – In Simple Words
Mom, I went out to a party tonight. I remembered what you always told me—not to drink alcohol. So I didn’t. I chose a Sprite instead. I felt proud because I made a smart, healthy choice. You were right.
When the party ended, lots of people started driving even though they had been drinking. But I felt safe, Mom, because I hadn’t. I walked to my car, sure I’d make it home just fine.
But then something happened that I never saw coming.
Now I’m lying here on the road. I hear a police officer say, “The driver who caused the crash was drunk.”
Your voice feels so far away, Mom. I’m covered in blood. I’m trying not to cry, but the pain is so bad. I hear the doctors say, “This girl is going to die.”
That driver went out to party too, but he made the choice to drink and drive. And now… I have to die.
Why do people do this, Mom? Don’t they know it can ruin lives?
It feels like my body is being cut by a hundred knives. Please tell my sister not to be scared. Tell Dad to be strong. I love you so much, Mom. I wish I could get one last kiss.
Someone should have told that boy how dangerous it is to drink and drive. Maybe if his parents had warned him, I would still be alive.
My breathing is getting slower. I’m so scared. These are my last moments, and I feel so alone. I wish you could hug me, Mom, while I lie here dying.
I want to tell you I love you… but I can’t feel anything anymore. Mama… I love you. Goodbye…
Fatimah Sheikh (Author)
These were the last words of a young girl in 1997. A journalist from Telecinco was there and heard everything. He started a campaign to stop drunk driving.
Time for me + licking my wounds
This is my second day of rest after my party when the three of us, Francoise and a visiting friend Ewa are slopping around, talking about everything, having breakfast at 11 a.m , letting the world go by.
I am still very disappointed that I was thrown out of the WordPress group in Bristol. It was the only group that I felt at home with and I really wanted to make a contribution but I came up with an organizer who thinks hierarchically rather than organically and with whom there is no discussion.
I know that my intention was to give feedback about the website of the person who happened to sponsor the buying of sandwiches for the last WP Bristol event. I applied the criteria that I applied to the many sites that I see in the course of my working day but this was perceived as a threat and a danger so what can I do? ‘ to thine own self be true’ as the Bard said
The implications of ‘passing by on the other side’.
When the time comes for us to ascend to the happy hunting ground above I’m sure there will be some sort of automatic evaluation or judgment – who knows. My guess that we will be evaluated not only on what we have done, but what we could have done so for example someone with medical knowledge who could have helped someone in the street who had an accident declined to do so.
In religious language we would call it a sin of omission. I believe this applies commonly in our daily interactions with others.
When someone says or does something that we have a view about and could be contentious, do we keep our mouth closed for fear of giving offense. If you think that motive was common 20 years ago it’s almost the default mode now in this age of wokism and post-political correctness. If we say something that offends someone they will blame us or sue us or take us to court or God knows what.That’s what we fear anyway.
Do we shut off through fear?
I think loss of Fear and ease of orientation is directly limited to the factual basis or shall we say the pragmatic basis of your view on life. We have far more noise than signal these days and basically everything that politicians say is either a lie or a cover-up for a lie.
This is why it is wise to accumulate good friends and part of the reason why I have the parties and social occasions that I have for people to actually spend time with each other and have a good conversation. Someone said once that if you are depressed, a good conversation and a cup of tea is much better than an antidepressant pill
Talk about shutting down the mind through fear! I see it in spade fulls. I get the impression that some people are afraid or at least inhibited about saying anything that might ‘upset’ anyone even if that they are a complete idiot and retard. I have always been a catalyst in my life and always stir people up through being contentious and challenging their point of view though frankly I think I could make a much better job of it.
My oldest friend Gregory is a good example here, he won’t let me get away with half answers to questions and will try and try again until he gets a satisfactory answer. In general I think if we are being supportive I feel we can push people much more and not let them get away with standard phrases like ‘that’s the way it is’, or generic phrases like ‘ I don’t know what the world is coming to’.
I reckon if you gently probe people you will get far more out of the conversation than just letting things ride without comment. I’m talking to myself as much as anyone else frankly. I can think of about ten friends that I can be honest with, which come to think of it is actually quite good.
The many aspects of silence
On occasion, remaining silent is an act of cowardice and we may miss a chance to help people that would have been greatly appreciated at the time. You don’t know what you think unless you have told somebody.
Sometimes I am silent because I know that the person is so embedded in their own opinion and any attempt to change it would result in hostility. One obvious example is the recent medications that we have had to undergo. Another example is the wearing of face coverings . I’m silent because I don’t want to waste my energy on someone who does not want to be woken .
We can have a ‘stunned silence’ where something that has been said is so shocking as to reduce people to silence.
There is another category of this word. Silence is a wonderful healer and enables us to contemplate what other people have said. I reckon that some people try to escape silence because they don’t want to consider their position.
However, we may be silent because we want to listen to someone else and as Rumi said, the quieter you become the more you are able to hear. I love the inspirational aspect of Silence. Albert Einstein said, I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. I find in my own psychology that silence, or comparative Silence, is necessary in order for me to think especially when it comes to bringing new thoughts into life.
I have referred to this a couple of times when I was celebrating the birthday of a friend and such was the noise level but I was reduced to numbness and therefore silence by the noise around me.
Others are silent because they are guilty of something and do not wish to reveal it.
Others are silent because they think for their contribution would not add significantly to the conversation that is going on instead of seeing themselves as unique beings who may well say something quite ordinary which could lead to a remarkable chain of conversation. If you have catalytic words to speak you will not know in advance
There is another use of the word silence. You can say that someone enters the world of silent mind which basically means that someone is unable to verbalize what they are feeling and this is normally associated with some sort of mental difficulty which may actually be an acute discomfort with the environment causing a close-off of a normally active mind.
I think some people are very sensitive to the environment, myself included, and as I’ve said many times before there are three factors to a talk between two people and the third one which is so often forgotten, is the supportiveness of the environment or ‘the situation’
For example if I wanted to talk about a personal problem I wouldn’t choose a busy subway, I would choose a place in nature preferably where the birds are singing and nature in all its glory is made manifest.
