I had cause to go to the doctor this morning and I noticed the incredible number of very tidy notices placed on the notice board and I have picked out one to show that the National Health Service is very aware of the problems people face and are encouraging all sorts of initiatives one way and another. Good stuff.
The question is – Are the duties of the general public towards each other and to what extent should initiative come from them versus what initiatives should be started by the authorities. ‘Men in Sheds’ was started by a private individual or individuals and has thrived.
You would not have required an enormous amount of resources to spark the idea and indeed to propagate it – we will call it ‘going viral’. However a nationwide problem which demands resources does need a national response and this poster is a good example of it. When one person is affected then the whole family are affected and that includes the extended family and of course the employer if any.
A very high proportion of people these days are affected by mental health problems and this cannot be tackled on a peace meal basis.
Post-party reflections
So my birthday party has come and gone. Interesting that an event even some months in the future can consume your time and energy to make sure that everything goes right. I tend to be a bit obsessive about detail and planning, Francoise is obsessed about cleaning so between us we do the job.
We tidied the garden and brought in extra chairs in case we needed them but in the event it was too windy and people did not want to sit outside which is fine, the occasion gave us the motivation to keep things in trim. Next time the fire pit will be used.
Strangely and disturbingly at the last moment we had three guests – all women – who cancelled all for genuine reasons. One had had an accident in New Zealand involving their hip and had great difficulty sitting and walking so she could not have enjoyed herself, one person had an infection of their hand which meant that they were not even able to put their hand in water, and a third had a curry the previous night which upset her stomach and thus was unable to attend.
We were left with 11 people in total but as so often happens it worked out in the end. 11 or 12 people is about all I can fit in my living room and I will not overload too much because it turns the place into a football crowd.
People were asked to come by 2pm and most did and they were very good at introducing themselves to each other. The first guest arrived at quarter past one but he was well-known to me so we just sat on chatted while the ladies prepared food in the kitchen.
Normally I feel the hosts should finish cooking half an hour before the first person is due to arrive. We just about made it.
Guests
It helps enormously if people are on the same wavelength. Throughout my life I have been very strict on uninvited guests. I choose people on the same wavelength and a friend of the person is often not on the same wavelength. It happens time and time again. Even one guess that doesn’t fit does stand out.
I reflect on the other parties that I have been to which I have found quite traumatic –Â let’s say you arrive and there are say 25 or 30 people engaged in noisy discussion. You are greeted at the door by the host, on a good day anyway, and then you go and are offered a drink.
‘White wine or red wine, sir?’, and then you wander around like a lost soul until you recognize someone that you know and you engage them in conversation. I find this is quite a cruel way of dealing with those who don’t know many people or who are naturally shy and retiring.
I believe that everyone who arrives at a party or dinner party should be able to be given the opportunity to introduce themselves so people can hear their voice and get some impression of them and whether they want to engage. We skip this stage at our peril.
If you get the party off to a good start then off it goes from there; it’s a bit like cranking up a car engine, it flows. If you remember the old days. Once it’s running it keeps running and sure enough we found the same
I was asked how it felt to be 81 years of age and I said it felt timeless in a way, I might as well be 41 or 21. I do not feel older though parts of my body are not as flexible as they were.
Food
In our desire to be hospitable we prepared far too much food but it was delicious, including meats which we ordered in, quiches, salads, dips, eggs, four types of cake, breads, enough for twice the number but it didn’t matter because we could either give the food away or stuff it in the fridge and not have to cook for the next two or three days.
The act of everyone introducing themselves was catalytic and steers the conversation in various ways. I think after a certain time the dialogue writes itself and the host has done their work and can sit back and enjoy the proceedings.
One of the guests have been a farmer’s son and working on the land for most of his life before he became a painter and decorator and also an artist. He described how he had been driving a tractor which rolled over on him and he described the sound of his ribs cracking. He mentally said goodbye to his children and wife but by some miracle he made it through and is now fit and able.
Strangely, no one was interested in drinking alcohol though we did receive a couple of bottles of champagne as a birthday present which we duly sampled and approved after the event. Someone has to do it.Â
An unexpected present
Our artist guest introduced us to his artworks and actually gave me the one illustrated because I liked it, which was hugely generous of him. It now resides over our fireplace in the living room. We asked him when he started painting and he said ‘around 4 years of age’.Â
I remember when I first met him a few weeks ago at an art trail exhibition and I saw the work and it ‘called me’ and I said to myself that I wanted to invite him to my party. I did not know him from Adam and had no idea about him but I’m just knew he had to be present as indeed he was and it was a great success.
We talked a lot about the sovereign human being and how the courts and indeed the whole legal system has become corrupt at all levels. It was a very dystopian discussion but at least we could understand the source of some of our concerns by having the facts in correct perspective. The point is if you have a small number of interesting people gathered together they naturally spark each other off.
I take care not to impose any time restrictions on people because they leave when they want to leave, normally with another engagement pending, so they become temporary members of the family if you like.
We spent the time after they left doing substantial amounts of washing up, putting away Francoises’ cherished ‘plates for special occasions’, and finding some way of stuffing the uneaten food into the refrigerator – except the cakes that remained on the table.
Was the party is a success
The Spanish for success is ‘un exito padre’ which basically means a result that is capable of becoming the father of something else whether it was through sowing seeds, encouraging people, maybe restoring their faith in human nature and increasing their trust, challenging them to do further study on something you just never know what you start.
The point is there is only so much the hosts can do, it’s a 50/50 thing, and it’s up to the guests to put themselves about and speak to others and all you can do is sit back and watch, may encouraging the odd person. A host should ask themselves, have they done their best, is there anything else they could have done, and the answer probably is yes to the one and probably no to the second.
On a dystopian note – nothing to do with parties etc. – heavy stuff
This video – available on Rumble – is possibly something you were not aware of. Watch without children present. Putin: John Podesta Wanted ‘Dead or Alive’ Following Davos Adrenochrome Bust   so that’s why I write as I do, or one of the reasons should I say, to encourage people to stay human and keep a sense of values that will see you through the good times and the bad.
