I do not usually quote work from other people but this is a question from the Internet on how to overcome grief of a lost one which I think sums the whole thing up so well.
Thank you for the tenderness of the question. Here are a few, I hope helpful thoughts.
First, you are not alone, even though every one puts their best face forward on social media and even in human interactions, everyone knows about loss. There is a huge benefit in the element of faith, in a God who is good all the time and present to my losses.
Second, simplify. We get overwhelmed by the complexity of our losses, all the questions, and are tempted to start ‘future tripping’ – imagining a future that is dominated by loss and things never change. It is not real but seems real to us. Simplify and reduce the world to only today and stay inside the grace of this one day. Tomorrow you will get grace for whatever it actually holds and not what you have imagined.
Third, let people in. We are not designed to try and make our way alone through loss. Healing comes through community and relationship.
Fourth, be willing to let the loss go. This is a cost that some are not willing to pay. The loss becomes an identity and sometimes a prison that we begin to call a sanctuary.
Fifth, but (in light of the last suggestion), grieve and lament well. Throw the apples against the barn door with all your might and scream. Don’t suppress the presence of the wounds of loss. The way out is in and through.
Wm Paul Young
What we’re really lacking these days is the ability or desire to listen to other people. I have various skills and if I had to lose them all except one it would be the ability to listen. I’m not particularly good at it I must admit because my creative mind interferes with the flow of what people are saying.
Yesterday Sunday I was preparing to renovate a shed it also cut down some trees. I have learnt a valuable lesson about my own preconceptions, what I think I can and cannot do. I read as that in all probability I achieve more than I perceive I can it’s just that it’s a new idea. I merely have to revise my skill set somewhat. My friend Will is coming in to help me as you may have read. I thought about what needed to be done to prepare my tool shed, decided to make a start somehow and I find that I’ve done 70% of it myself. I realise that I was making myself more helpless than I needed to have been.
The tree is another matter. Trees are heavy and can fall in the most awkward direction so were going to have a lot of discussion on Health and Safety before anything is done. To this end I looked at some videos on YouTube. If I was living in a remote place, I would have to learn how to do these things myself so I think it’s a bit pathetic to rely on other people and also I can save some money. I don’t want to do a botched job which is why I no longer do heavy jobs on my own. Back in October I fell backwards while doing a gardening job and broke seven ribs. There was no one around so I had to drive 5 miles home. Don’t ask me how I did it but needs must.
I’m succeeding in my dietary aim of eating far less food. Last night we had a simple vegetable pie pie with a pumpkin soup and that was more than enough.
The mainstream press have finally admitted the problem with Fukushima. For the last five or six years, 300 tons of radioactive water had been spewing out into the Pacific and yet the mainstream media with a few glorious exceptions have been banned from talking about it. I follow The Health Ranger, one of the Internet sites as I respect. He says only an idiot could have built an atomic power station on a earthquake fault line. There are safer radioactive substances that could be used to generate power but they have preferred one which can also be used to fuel nuclear warheads. Now the world is paying the price because the company, Tepco, do not even know where the radioactive rods are and even the robots sense to find them have their circuits fried within the hour.
Mike also spoke about the probable coming of a high energy pulse from space, which last happened in the 1860s. He pointed out that all electronic circuits would be fried which includes those on the pumps designed to keep the 200 or so atomic power stations in America cool. If the pumps stop circulating water the stations will overheat so just imagine 200 of them in meltdown at one time. They would not be much of the USA left. We need some sort of diversionary tactic to stop her mind being permanently depressed by all these doom laden scenarios. I’m not depressed by Donald Trump. He is getting a bad press because the left do not like his activities and his attention to the profits made by the pharmaceutical companies.