With the wind blowing and grey skies in the background, but fortified with my normal very large cup of morning coffee I continue my thoughtful theme. Today is Shrove Tuesday so off we will go at 10 o’clock to have pancakes at my church.
I would not like to be an employee of Oxfam. I did not associate child abuse or sex parties with such philanthropic organisations, hitherto squeakyclean. It seems these days that virtually everyone is either a child abuser or sexual molester. Doing a reality check among those I know I would say that the vast majority – 99% – behave well so why this great focus all of a sudden. However, Oxfam must pay the price for ignoring complaints by workers. I feel sorry for the rank-and-file who are doing their best often on a voluntary basis for a good cause.
Anyway, my topic today is self sabotage. There is one very easy way of doing this and that is to ignore our good points. Why do we do this? It is because we take them for granted. People who are “good with people” do not notice it because to them it is natural. They have had a happy childhood with wonderful supportive parents and to be open and kind to people comes as second nature. No acting ability required. I have droned on about this before but we are all unique. If you consider that every one of us has say 100 qualities, each of which are developed in a particular way from a particular cause in a unique place on the earth, there are far more combinations and permutations of personalities than there are people on the planet. Factorial 100, which is a simpler version of the above, contains 100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 combinations.
In other words, if we wish to make a contribution to the world, all we have to do is to find out what we are good at, what we can develop, and get on with it. In other words, be ourselves. Many people are what I call ‘flowers in bud’ but no one I know would do right spring as opposed to summer because we have not yet seen flowers in full bloom. Easier said than done. What we really need here is the privilege of having friends who will encourage us, and that doesn’t come from having 500 ‘friends’ or ‘likes’ or any of these other virtual and ultimately meaningless symbols of significance.
Individuisation it is also more difficult in this age of Political Correctness when people are afraid to express any opinions that are contrary to what they think others expect of them. However, I am encouraged by seeing that there are many people, youngsters included, who do make their mark on society and are not afraid to be themselves. There is something about the skateboarder Red Gerard who at the age of 17 just won an Olympic gold medal. How very proud his parents must have been but it is also a brilliant role model for other youngsters. 17 relatives and families flew half way round the world to attend..
On the whole matter of commenting on other people’s situation, including if they have a particular question, when does the matter become invasion when something that friends should do for each other is to give caring and loving feedback. You can function as a mirror for what other people are doing. We all have our blind spots. When I was young, I was making the same mistake with people year after year and did not spot it and I do wish that someone had drawn it to my attention. I may or may not have been momentarily offended but that would’ve been a small price to pay for avoiding a repetition of a mistake.
This is a huge topic which I can only touch on slightly here but what if our body was not well. What have we had something like Lyme disease or candida growth? that would cause all sorts of chemicals to be produced which would make us feel weak, powerless, and depressed. In other words there may be no psychological problem as such apart from the normal worries of life and the feelings of loneliness that we get from time to time. It may be that a health check will reveal the cause of a chemical imbalance which could cheer us up enormously. In other words, our physical condition can change our view of the world.
We need to keep a part of our mind self-aware so that we can observe the whole situation. “I am basically a happy person but having a difficult time”. The maintenance of a positive narrative for example that there is hope, that we have not bought this on ourselves, that we are worthy, that it’s not a question of us versus the world, that it is me in my condition versus the rest who are happy and healthy. That is why human interaction is so important in oder that we can keep a sense of balance and listen to some of the problems that other people have to put up with on a daily basis.
At the coffee morning pancakes were served. About 20 people turned up which I thought was very good for a rainy morning. I chatted with the vicar about the dynamic of sermons. He considers that sermons are alchemical in nature. I discussed the fact that the audience or congregation get what they deserve because a preacher or speaker is unlikely to be inspired to say something when ‘the Powers above’ AKA the Holy Spirit realise that the congregation will not understand or accept what is being said. We talk about ‘speaking to a brick wall” and this blockage is what that is all about. Ideally, there should be mind/brain synchronicity between the the vicar and the congregation. Ideas will then flow not only consciously but subliminally via the universal energy field that links us all.
I do not think it matters if a sermon or speech is perfect or not. If the people who are listening have the wit, they pick up enough reference points to get a good fix on what is being said, a bit like GPS tuning into satellites. If there are four or more satellites within range, the estimation of locality can be assumed with some degree of confidence. I have noticed that some speeches are over rehearsed and lose their spontaneity and I have noticed that some completely unrehearsed talks have spontaneity and excitement about them which is riveting.
In public I write things down and read it because I’m afraid of forgetting certain points but sometimes I take off and extemporize. The event seems to go well from the audience reaction. This is probably because I am utilizing the effect given above which is tuning into the collective energy field and empathizing with the audience.
Back to the Olympics again. Light the fire and sit in what we have decided to call our summer room, actually the lounge, where the temperature is a blazing 25° C. How’s that for spoiling ourselves